That's My Dad.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance 

I tried so hard to review this seriously. At one point, I was literally crying, begging for time to do me a solid and make this end quicker. I was induced with an unforgiving migraine and overwhelming frustration before the thirty minute mark, but I never leave anything unfinished. It was baffling, having to experience “Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance”: in my now worn-out opinion, the most detestable piece of visual vomit, wanna-be B-movie ever put to production. It wasn’t the heinous and schizophrenic cinematography/visual effects of this film that would make any Bollywood or Spanish soap opera camera-man look like Terrence Malick. It wasn’t the unreasonable amounts of villainy that would make a snuff film feel like leisure watching. And it certainly wasn’t the physically tormenting dialogue and script structure that makes gouging out our eyes and crushing them on the pavement with your car seem like total paradise. It was the notion that somehow a team of human beings came together to make something so arbitrary and revolting, yet, have the audacity to call this a “movie”. There is something disgusting about that thought: “Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance” was not a film, it will never deserve that title. (0/10)

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My Week With Marilyn - 

An absolutely magical introspection into the human condition of one of the most intricate figures in film: Marilyn Monroe. With an impeccable British ensemble, luscious cinematography, pitch-perfect direction and an awe-inspiring, methodical and eternal performance by Michelle Williams, “My Week With Marilyn” attests as one of the most understated gems of art-house cinema in 2011. (9/10)

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The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo Soundtrack -

Soul is to Aretha Franklin as horror is to Trent Reznor, front-man of Nine Inch Nails. Him and Atticus Ross tag team it up with transgressive director David Fincher to invent an ambient, eerie and profoundly novel soundtrack to a film of the same characteristics. While it certainly interacts less with the film unlike their previous and more celebrated soundtrack for The Social Network, Reznor and Ross showcase their devious style and still create an exceptional film accompaniment. Not to mention a James Bond theme song-esque cover of Led Zeppelin’s Immigrant Song, featuring Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeah’s; a standout track that feels just as urgent, sexy and dirty as the film. Don’t expect a comfortable listen as this album spans three hours of abstract and minimalist thematic music, but for film soundtrack aficionados, it’s a must. (8/10)

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Lana Del Rey’s Born to Die -

You can’t deny credit for the braveness, production value and mystique Lana Del Rey and her music offers: in making dark social commentary on our generation and challenging mainstream pop. Yet, in comparison to others who do the same thing, Del Rey falls majorly behind; not as musically talented as Amy Winehouse, not as clever or insightful as Lily Allen and not as meaningful as Odd Future. With of this artist’s hype, I can see Born to Die become the one ofthe most ridiculed and hated albums of 2012. (4/10)

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Top 20 Films of 2011 (11-20)

11. Hugo

12. Contagion

13. Bridesmaids

14. The Help

15. Midnight in Paris

16. Submarine

17. The Adventures of Tintin

18. The Descendants

19. The Muppets

20. Crazy, Stupid Love

The Artist - 

Welcome to the year’s most celebrated film in cinema: The Artist.

In case you haven’t heard about this film, The Artist is a silent black-and-white film telling a very classic Hollywood tale of the death of the silent era and the birth of the talkies.

If there’s an undeniable attribute of The Artist, it’s how many bold statements it makes towards Hollywood, decline in mainstream media and the art of cinema and storytelling, among various other aspects.

The Artist worships everything Hollywood has ever culturally stood and how it directly the human spirit at a vulnerable time in it’s history. Of course, expectedly, the film celebrates and glosses up a long lost age of glamour in popular culture, not to mention art style. A daunting task The Artist takes on is recall classically structured stories and the way they play out. You don’t even have to bother to check for authenticity, this thing plays out like something Cecil B. Demille would have made. For a film like this, that’s the biggest compliment imaginable.

Another great value of the film is how it speaks to its current surroundings in 2011 cinema. The Artist presents cryptic layers of psychological and artistic frustrations it seems to have with the characters moving from the silent era to the “talkies”, but, in modern context, The Artist addresses current films growing consistently shallow for entertainment while neglecting the concept of telling a wholesome story. It’s cheesy when it comes down to it, but no color, language or explosions are ever required to win the hearts of audiences in a theater.

Yet The Artist makes such a bold mark in modern cinema, it’s hard to call it a masterpiece when it’s core story leaves much to be desired. Classics like Sunset Boulevard or Singin’ in the Rain applied more vigor towards building a well-rounded tale of the human spirit, where The Artist falls short and feels a little too gentle for its own good.

When all is said and done, The Artist is a cinematic achievement and one specifically built to charm Hollywood and, almost definitely, the Oscars.

This film was my mom. (8/10)

Top 5 Video Games of 2011 (X360/PS3) - 

1. The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim

2. Battlefield 3

3. Portal 2

4. L.A. Noire

5. Saints Row: The Third

If anything took 2011’s music scene by storm, it was undeniably Odd Future.

Frank Ocean is OFWGKTA’s emotional relief. Unlike Tyler, the Creator and Earl, Frank Ocean is based on R&B, social commentary, nostalgic homages and tenderness. This is the album if Bastard is too abrasive or unsuitable for your taste.

Nostalgia, Ultra is just perfect. It’s a mix-tape that does everything within its format’s limitations and does it humbly with immense confidence, creativity and talent. Jumping between remixes of classic pop songs (Coldplay’s Strawberry Swing, The Eagles’ Hotel California, MGMT’s Electric Feel, to name a few) and original tracks that feel fueled by past generation’s creations all while creating something very brand new entirely.

What sets Nostalgia, Ultra apart from getting legitimately labelled as “hipster propaganda” is how sincere Ocean’s skill of reminiscence and lack of pretension he has, as an artist. Throughout the album, Ocean places many half-minute tracks of a cassette being paused and rewinded and labels them under classic video game titles (Street Fighter, Soul Caliber). He doesn’t do this to impress or attract a certain crowd, he does it so the continuity of the album actually sounds like a cassette and frankly, he does it just for fun.

Aside from this album’s superb technical ability, Ocean should be recognized as a damn good lyricist. His single (not to mention, one of my favorite tracks of the year), Novacane, tells this cool, transgressive story about meeting this porn star/dentist at a concert and getting high in an unexpected way. Ocean tells this story all while sounding cute, vulnerable, sexy, smart and even funny. This is how the whole album plays: filled with a very honest personality and delivered with great storytelling skills. His best songs are his best written: tracks like We All Try, Ocean’s personal statement that’s delivered with style and poignance, and Lovecrimes, which puts a spin on classic sayings like “Murder, She Wrote” in a delivery Animal Collective would be familiar with. This is not to say that certain songs are composed better than others; Nostalgia, Ultra is a consistent work of clever, thoughtful and worthwhile music that aims to achieve its own maximum potential.

In the current hip-hop based scene, one overloaded with self-righteousness and disturbingly abundant amounts of boasting and insults, being humble as an artist or a person can be like finding a feminist eating at a Hooters; almost impossible. Nostalgia, Ultra may not only be one of the best releases of 2011, but also the debut of the hardest-working and most under-rated guy in the industry right now.

This album is my dad. (10/10)

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol - 

What I don’t understand is that if the film’s called “Mission Impossible”, why do people constantly complain about the absurdity of it’s stunts? Ghost Protocol is the fourth installment of, what the past 15 years have shown, the most exhilarating and stylized action series of our generation. Even after the fact that every installment of the series has featured a director and a dynamic approach to the formula, Ghost Protocol (directed by Brad Bird [The Incredibles, Ratatouille]) is such a diligent and explosive work of entertainment that it challenges the basic boundaries of visual art. Featuring stunts that push the zenith of human capability, immaculate depiction of world locations and cultures and, not to mention, scenes with IMAX cameras that blows every IMAX film out of the water. The world standard of action films is back and there’s plenty of fuse left to burn. (10/10)

Young Adult - 

Here is a film humanly challenging for both audiences and its writer/director duo. Young Adult is an unusually dry and minimalist drama revolving around a young adult book series writer and a slice of her dreadful and deteriorating life. Director Jason Reitman, acclaimed director of heavily satirical, introspective contemporary classics like Thank You for Smoking, Juno and Up In the Air has tag-teamed with screenplay writer Diablo Cody (better known as the stripper who wrote Juno) once again on Young Adult. Lead actress Charlize Theron portrays a woman who resembles a character from an 80’s high school movie shown 25 years later in a world that’s moved on passed their adolescence, with the exception of her. It’s an emotionally distressing exercise to watch this character continually crack and fall apart. Young Adult is admirable in what it aims and succeeds to do: an examination on past generations losing control in trying to cope with today and trying to let go of a more pleasant yesteryear. What makes this film truly not worth recommending is its overly dry and terse pacing, direction and delivery. Despite feeling hollow after watching this depressing yet clever film, it leaves you contemplating whether if this is a story worth caring about at all. (6/10) 

I blame Judd Apatow and Seth Rogen for Coldplay’s haters.

Save your spite for someone else; Coldplay is our generation’s U2. Where U2 evolved from albums like War, a powerful work of art representing the world’s society from the dawn of the 80’s, Coldplay begun from their emotionally triumphant album Parachutes and their rock masterpiece A Rush of Blood to the Head. On their 5th album, Mylo Xyloto, Coldplay has allowed zero room for scrutiny and have produced a dauntingly colorful and tight record, delivered with the same meticulous musicianship that makes a Coldplay release what it is.

To me, Chris Martin must have been a historian and a storyteller for kids in a past lifetime. After Parachutes, each release from Coldplay takes on this really specific mood from the future. With X&Y, there was this idea of a self-reflective, morose near future for all of us. With Viva la Vida, we see classical styles clash with futuristic ones and how, as musicians, Coldplay idolized lost generations from the 1800’s and appreciated them in a post-modern setting. In Mylo Xyloto, we’re drowned into a surrealist Alice in Wonderland-esque fantasy future to hide ourselves away from our problems. It’s almost as if Coldplay addresses American society’s sub-conscious desires and aims to fulfill them. They know when to make music for people to deal with their own fears with the world and when to give something to personally ponder over and relate to. In this sense, Coldplay is very much a pop artist. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Mylo Xyloto is one of 2011’s finest albums. I sincerely will not be personally attached to it, but I expect Coldplay fans to be. It’s a gorgeously produced album with more ambition than anything out of the pop or rock industry in quite a while.

This album was my mom. (9/10) 

Some of my favorite albums, in raw theory, are actually terrible albums.

Feist’s Metals has the components of a quality indie rock album. Postmodern lyrics about love and what-not, experimental rock compositions that act as fundaments, attention to overall tone. Indie rock fans look for these things often and helplessly fall for it. You can’t blame them; this is what makes for the albums you want to own on vinyl. The ones that earn “heavy rotation” status in your hearts and leave an intimate relationship between the music and the listener. Metals can very well become one of my favorite albums.

Well, why the fuck isn’t it?

On Metals, Feist has decided to focus on experimenting sonically more than anything else. She does this to the point where every other aspect of her work is entirely neglected and practically non-existent. Gone is the emotional and transcendental slant on common themes that made Feist’s pop so honey sweet and charming. What’s left is something progressive, barren and heartless; Metals is, without question, one expressionless album.

It’s a shame to see a dreamy indie pop artist of this caliber digress to a colder, bleak and depressing style. Despite possible curiosities, this is a heart-breakingly boring album and well worth the warning. Save your kindred spirit of love, loss and depression for some other album.

This album was my grandmother with a diminishing memory who can’t do anything anymore. (2/5)

If you’ve seen em’ once, you’ve seen em’ all.

There is no question in the fact that Dreamworks Animation have a constant formula for their films. Once upon a time, they allowed themselves to blend spunky satire and personality with revolutionary animation style, topped with classic methods of fundamental storytelling. After a certain point in the past decade, it seemed that everybody who wasn’t Pixar in the animation scene pleateaued. Many of the studios grew dependant of their formulas and let their core elements became weak and lazy.

This is my problem. This is why I remain unimpressed with films that succeed only in producing a fresh gloss on a bastard creation. Puss in Boots, much like its original based series Shrek, takes multiple Mother Goose storylines and adds a postmodern touch. The reason Shrek was so magnificently successful, aside from it being a new concept in 2001, was its ability to carry the spirit of both of old storybook magic and accessible modern comedy. The blend felt truly original and, of course, trend-setting for films to come.

It’s 2011 now and the magic is gone, leaving nothing but gorgeous flakes of unoriginality. This may be a flawless film aesthetically, but there is next to nothing in Puss in Boots worth visiting for. Frankly, the reason this was released was to satisfy America’s increasingly frightening fetish for cats and branch off a dying animated saga to breathe some life into it. I can highly recommend it to a child, no holes barred. It’s a work of visual art worth celebrating amongst a certain youth. By general film standards, there is nothing else.

This film was an attractive, but psychotic cat women. (2/5)

The only thing I’ll be thankful for on Thanksgiving is the Based God.

Lil B is gay (happy). His most recent album, I’m Gay (I’m Happy) is a collective work of the Based God life’s philosophy. We see a more polished side of Lil B here, as a rapper and an artist. In the last few years, he’s released a disturbingly vast amount of albums and mixtapes that plays with just as much fun as Lil B probably had making it. Known for an overbearingly sloppy and blissful “B-movie” appeal, Lil B has skyrocketed to major cult status for saying a lot and having a shitload of fun doing it. 

But none of this is news. If anyone’s listened to Lil B at all, we’re very aware that his behavior as this hilarious caricature of hip-hop culture and its bulky stupidity. My question is, why does I’m Gay feel like a legitimate rap album?

I’m Gay is the introduction to the Lil B phenomena. Instead of the infectious and classic “cooking” songs, we’re found in a rather meaningful album filled with songs densely charged with inspiration and meaningful subject matters. Sure, the idiotic delivery is present, yet seriously toned down and almost straight-faced. Based God always had something to say, but this time he’s really saying it and not playing off the idea. It expands on an interesting range Lil B’s built for himself, as a character. 

Truthfully, I can only appreciate and praise I’m Gay as a novelty item. For the first time, Lil B has made solid and true music. This might be a masterful feat for some fans or an odd disappointment for others. In summary, I’m Gay is the “Lil B for Dummies”, it’s his most accessible work and his least silliest. Sort out your preferences and determine whether I’m Gay is a masterpiece or a confused mismatch. It’s a rare case where no one could service you a definitive perspective but yourself.

For me, I’m Gay is a surprising treat coming from one of my all-time favorite characters. One for the ages.

This album was my crazy uncle.

An ode to unreliable narrators. 

I’ve always loved con artists. There’s a true appeal to the stylization of the simple art of lying and glamorizing its execution in film. I Love You, Phillip Morris is a snappy tale that refuses to deny that truth is, in fact, stranger than fiction. Based on a true story, we go deep into Steven Russell, a multi-faced and flawed con man embodied by Jim Carrey. Careful now, Carrey loves surprising his audiences with his stealthy variety in choice roles; this isn’t Liar Liar by a long-shot. Alongside is the love of his life, Phillip Morris, played by Ewan McGregor; whom he happens to meet in jail. Two brilliant performers progressively construct a dynamic together that brings this story home; it’s not just humor produced between the two of them, but some of the most vulnerable and sensitive performances seen from both Carrey and McGregor.

I Love You, Phillip Morris is a highly entertaining farce that plays with narrative style like matchsticks. It’s an endless streak of humor at work as we see Steven Russell constantly shift from one elaborate hoax to another faster than a chameleon on cocaine. This isn’t the super-hyper Jim Carrey mode, its fantastic pacing and direction at work that never drops the ball in the film. It’s refreshing to see the film take some of the weight for once and let Carrey act rather than him being the over-strained powerhouse of laughs.

McGregor’s role here grows to be rather under-rated, even within the film he doesn’t get the credit he deserves. While that fits the story, since I Love You, Phillip Morris is a rampant biography on Steven Russell, Phillip Morris ends up coming off as one of the most interesting motifs seen in a comedy. This is pitch-black humor, however, and McGregor fits his character and its given under-mined nature perfectly; creating this rather effeminate appeal to Morris that drives up the charm of their relationship and gives the film its necessary head check. 

Like many con artists searching for themselves, their hearts are in the right place and their persistence is unprecedented; that’s what I Love You, Phillip Morris is. An absolute treat loaded with funnier concepts than most works of fiction.

This film was my dad.